Patrick Chou Week 16: Cramemory, a satire
As spring break rolls around, the feeling of AP testing season looms on the horizon, this period both marks the months of possibly hard work and the possibility of impacting our future academic opportunities. It's time to embrace the ultimate 5 scoring strategy: cramming, yes you heard that right. Forget everything you have been told about steady strategy habits and balanced routines. We are diving headfirst into the chaos of last-minute panic because, let's face it, you got to take advantage of every minute and there is no thrill like living on the edge with a stack of books and a gallon of caffeine concentrated drinks.
Let's acknowledge the beauty of cramming. Who needs months of preparation when you can achieve the same level of stress and sleeplessness in just a few nights? The adrenaline rush of realizing you had an entire year of material in less than 48 hours is the equivalent of bungee jumping. It is an experience you will never forget.
Step one of mastering the act of cramming is accumulating all of your notes, textbooks, and random scraps with half written formulas. Spread them out and toss them in the trash, because you can't read you own handwriting from the first semester. Open up that prep book that you bought during spring break when you told yourself "I'm gonna start early this year and work on this throughout the break." This is your kingdom now.
Active learning? Pfft, who has time for that? Equip the classic technique of speed-reading. Skim through the pages at lightning speed, hoping that some information sticks. And why stop there? Highlight everything. If everything is highlighted, then everything is important. It's the perfect strategy to remember everything, that way your brain is equally confused about all the topics.
Practice test? Never heard of it. Who has time for practice? Practice is simply doubting yourself, think of it as a game show where every question is a surprise challenge. You might not know the answer, but hey, you tried your best.
Of course, there is the minor issue of physical and mental health. Sleep is for the weak. You can catch up on rest later. In the meantime, embrace that dawg in you and power through. Balanced diet? Who needs it when you have the power of caffeine and dreams on your side.
So, gear up AP warriors, stockpile your snacks, and dive into the glorious madness that is last minute preparation. After all, nothing like the satisfaction of surviving AP testing season by the skin of your teeth. Good luck crammers.
For obvious reasons, do not cram, here is why: Memory: Why cramming for tests often fails (bbc.com)
Hello Patrick! The first item of interest that caught my attention when reading your blog is the engaging style with which you relate to your high school audience. Mentioning the presence of AP exams humorously with an unconventional strategy of cramming before the exam differentiates your blog from the traditional advice many students—including me—have heard. The rhetorical questions you add for effect highlight the potential benefits of considering the process of cramming for AP exams. It is possible to say that you changed the minds of a few people reading the blog regarding the use of cramming before exams until you revealed your intention to mock the process of cramming with the final sentence guiding readers to a source that dismisses the use of cramming.
ReplyDeleteYour anecdote of caffeinated drinks and prep books before AP exams is understandable; presenting an argument opposite to what most people claim is a surefire way to gain attention. The entire blog is cohesive while addressing concerns that many students have, and delivers your opposition to widely accepted methods of practice for AP exams. You say that practice tests are a sign of doubt which is a unique interpretation of the situation. I enjoyed reading your blog while I was procrastinating on studying for my AP exams.
Hi Patrick! I found your blog on cramming to be very relatable and humorous. I appreciate the way you appealed to a high school audience and created a step-by-step on how to cram. In addition, I found the counterarguments to be very effective because they disprove what most people typically believe. Although your blog is meant to be satire, I find that many of my peers and myself often tend to cram. Despite planning to study ahead of time, most of us study and learn the most the day before the exam.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, I agree with your ideas about tossing out notes. Although notes may be helpful for unit tests and individual assessments, they provide too much detail to memorize before the tes. Instead, the AP prep books offer more crucial insights about the necessary knowledge that a student must memorize. This makes them more effective to use before the test. In my opinion, I disagree with your argument about practice tests because I found them to be very effective while studying for my exams. However, I believe that your outlook on the practice tests is also valid. Overall, I think many students learn a lot from AP season on how to effectively study for tests. Hopefully, they prepare better next year and start studying before.