Liya Abil- Week 14- Embarrassing Moments
There have been countless nights where I have laid on my bed, unable to sleep, simply reflecting on my life. Unfortunately, at this time, I find myself hyper-fixating on the negative aspects. With the time and peace to think, all of the embarrassing moments of my life come rushing back, making me long to forget these mortifying moments.
What is it that pulls these cringe-worthy parts of one’s life into one’s consciousness just as an individual is trying to sleep?
According to Daley, there are millions of neurons in our brain that connect to overlap information. Memories in similar settings, such as those at school may be grouped. Moments that elicit similar feelings, such as anxiety can also automatically group in one’s brain. When an external stimulus or thought triggers one memory, all of the memories grouped into that specific category also enter one’s consciousness.
The other day, my family and I went to the beach and had a truly refreshing day. Although it was cold, we dipped our feet into the water, ate warm sandwiches, and just talked. Later that day, when I was lying in bed getting ready to sleep, I spent some time reminiscing about the day.
This triggered another memory- on another beach trip that my family and I took, I was running towards the water and tripped over myself. Many people saw and asked me if I was okay. Physically I was, but mentally, my mind was engulfed with embarrassment, hoping to never see those people in my life again.
The feeling of humiliation and embarrassment triggered other memories which resulted in those same emotions.
The mind works in weird ways. Every single occurrence, person, object, and feeling that has been encoded into one’s long-term memory is connected somehow. Bringing one small thing into one’s consciousness can trigger a plethora of other memories.
At night time, one has more time to relax, think, and reflect on their own life. This time spent in one’s thoughts can create a domino effect, leading to the remembrance of all the unwanted thoughts and memories that one has suppressed in the deepest parts of one’s mind.
Hello Liya! I was thinking about the effects of specific memories resurfacing from your mind that you would prefer to forget. You discuss how some of these memories have created an impenetrable barrier between inner peace and your current state. I believe that embarrassing moments are natural in human life, and acknowledging that fact and laughing it off when we are still kids. I want to have the liberty to embarrass myself as a kid—something that I will likely not be able to or willing to do as an adult.
ReplyDeleteYour citation of a scientific researcher in the field of memories opens up a discussion about the scientific explanation that can explain the emergence of these memories. A common occurrence that I have encountered is being overwhelmed by a long-past memory of a place rather than the current state of the place itself. When I traveled to India last summer, I had the opportunity to visit my old playground that I had seen more than ten years prior—when it was sleek, shiny, and brand-new. I remember the games of tag and laser tag that we played around the winding slides; seeing the current deterioration and degradation that the surrounding environment has suffered created deep sorrow within me. My old playground seemed abandoned—and I had returned too late to save it. I continue to console myself with the fact that memories are eternal, and my thoughts on the subject matter will remain in my mind forever, despite the physical changes that have occurred to the place in matter.
Hey Liya,
ReplyDeleteYour blog's topic is one that I'm sure a majority of teenagers and people in general can relate to because of our innate habit to relive embarrassing moments. I have also lain awake for many nights in my life, getting ready to enter a peaceful sleep, but instead have stumbled down a wormhole of my own most embarrassing moment. Somewhat like a perverse memory book meant to make you projectile vomit rather than feel nostalgic. Sometimes I even find myself rewriting the times that make me flinch in my head to scenarios where I left with some semblance of dignity. I love your blog because it focuses on the less than warm aspects of memory.
Hey Liya, I totally understand what you are saying about all the thoughts at night. It is just something about being alone at night, no sound, it is just you and all your thoughts. Whenever I just want a good peaceful sleep, my thoughts always keep me awake. I get into bed at 11pm but I actually sleep at 1 because of all the random thoughts going through my head. That is also the times where I think of all my cringey moments. My mind would just randomly think of the worst moments too during the night. To this day, even when the event happened years ago, I still have little glimpse of them and I just shake them off as if I never did it. Embarrassing moments always get to me.
ReplyDeleteHi Leya, I find your blog very interesting and relatable as I often find myself twisting and turning in the same late-night struggles. Its like a relentless cycle where every embarrassing moment comes flooding back when all I want is some sleep. Your focus on the less glamourus aspects of memory is refreshing and relatable. It is comforting to know that others share this experience of trying to navigate through cringe worthy memories late at night.
ReplyDelete