Daniela Marcel, Week 14: What If..?

 

Have you ever looked back on all your memories, from the small ones to your core memories? Have you ever wondered, what if this never happened? Or what if this had happened differently, what if I never said or did this? Well I do, most of my what-if thoughts usually occur when I regret doing something. Whenever it is something positive, it usually goes like, what if I had never planned or talked to them?

I feel like memories make up who we are. The events that happen in our lives are what shape us. However, it is only the events that we remember. For example, if we learned something but completely forgot about it a day later. We won’t apply that lesson to our daily lives. This means, that those memories, those events that you remember, and have what-if questions on. Those are the memories that makeup who you are. 

I like to think that the most important memories that have the biggest positive what-ifs, as my core memories. If I had never planned that huge mall trip with all my teammates, we wouldn’t be this close to each other. If I had never quit dancing and gymnastics for kung fu, I would have never been able to be on the USA team twice. If I hadn’t talked to this one girl, I would have never made a best friend I still talk to today. Those big positive what-ifs, help me clear up what my core memories are, and what makes the positive side of me. 

I also like to think that some of the most important memories that have the biggest negative what-ifs, as my lessons in life. For example, if I had never said anything to my parents, my siblings wouldn’t have gotten into trouble. If I had never opened my mouth that day, I would still be friends with her. If I had just studied a little bit more, I could have gotten a better grade. With those what-if questions, I can learn that next time, I shouldn’t rat out my siblings if what they did was just spilling over some milk. Next time, I should think and clear my head before I say anything. Next time, I should study a week before, not the night before so that my grades would improve. These lessons are what helped me improve myself. 

Memories create the biggest what-if questions, that you can reflect on, and see who you are as a person. 


Comments

  1. Mahesh KarthikeyanApril 15, 2024 at 6:23 PM

    Hello Daniela! Reading your blog creates consistent progression that follows a logically coherent model for the flow of your thoughts. You begin the blog with a series of rhetorical questions that address the negativity that can be caused by delving into the past and thinking about past decisions that have often taken split-seconds to make—yet we can regret for years. The paradoxical nature of remembering the past places me in limbo—remembering good and bad memories simultaneously. Your use of personal verbs like “feel” and “like” shows that you are showing your personality through the memories you relive and remember who you are—starting from your roots and beginnings.

    Another point you mention is your specific process for remembering positive and negative memories, which is a subject that I have spent a lot of time debating. One strange aspect of remembrance of the past is how I fixate on my biggest mistakes and the specific times when I could have handled a situation differently and come out better. Although this does not make for the happiest mindset, I can at least move forward knowing that I now know what to avoid in the future. Rethinking my past mistakes helps me calculate the best possible responses to the situations that present themselves and the challenges that arise. Using these memories as a database that I can constantly reference to remind myself of my morals and ideals helps me move forward. Thank you for this opportunity for allowing me to remind myself of my memories for a short while.

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  2. Brahmani VelagapudiApril 15, 2024 at 11:36 PM

    Hey Daniela,
    I love your blog because it contemplates the idea of "what if..." and as humans we feel regret a lot so the idea you present can be both fascinating and scary. In a positive sense when you look back on positive events in your life and wonder "imagine if I hadn't done this" or "what if I did this instead" and you feel grateful for the series of events that have led you whatever happy event that occured. On the offside, negative things that happen to you such as times you've made a mistake haunt you with the "what if" of the situation. I, myself, sometimes spend hours, sleepless, imagining what would have happened if I'd done something differently.

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  3. anishka jannuApril 17, 2024 at 9:17 AM

    Hi Daniela! I found your idea about a core memory shaping other events in life to be very interesting. I have never thought about small memories as shaping events because I often tend to forget about them. I really respect your positive outlook on life that demonstrates the importance of making the best of every situation. Although I do not often view memories in such a positive light, I am able to remember these events if I look at old pictures and videoes. When I look at these photos, I am reminded of all the joy and laughter or sadness that I was feeling during that time. If I did not have a physical or digital record of these pictures, it is very likely that I would have forgotten about these events.

    Therefore, I am very grateful to technology and cameras for helping me remember both special and insignificant memories in my life. Although we often think that the small memories are unimportant, I think that they play a role that is just as important in shaping our life. Even an activity as minor as finishing some homework or studying for a test can shape the future of our grades and our career. I believe that it is important to be happy and thankful during every minute of our lives because we should view each moment as a significant event. This is because we are lucky to be alive and healthy, whereas many people do not have the same privilege.

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  4. Liya AbilApril 17, 2024 at 12:05 PM

    Hi Daniela, I think your topic is extremely interesting as I was thinking about something similar the other day. I started to see the anxieties and stress of college admissions on seniors and got worried about my own future. I started wondering: What if I had joined that club in freshman year? What if I got a better grade on my math test? What if I did more in my high school life? These thoughts opened up into a general dilemma as I wondered: What would happen if I never moved to Fremont and stayed in Cupertino? What if I didn’t get into that argument with my friend,? and much more. I was confiding in my friend about wanting a do over in my life with the knowledge that I have now. However, she brought up a point that stuck with me. Yes, getting a do over in life sounds great, but your past experiences are what make up your life and personality today. Everyone is flawed, and everyone has made mistakes, but it is what one does once making the mistake that matters. Making sure that one learns from the mistake or experience and emerges a better person is what life is about, not being perfect constantly.

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